i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
