i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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