Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
