Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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