Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Pants are for mortals
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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