The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
