Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize