Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
