Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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