I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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