Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize