He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
