I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
