my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?