My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.