So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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