I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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