We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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