You're so nebulous sometimes
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just pee around me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
