I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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