She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
