If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
