I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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