Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
