It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
