How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
