Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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