i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
