Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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