just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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