Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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