Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think my vagina is haunted
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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