yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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