i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize