i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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