Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
