I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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