I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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