He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
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Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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