Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
