if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
