I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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