I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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