You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
