so that wasnt chicken after all
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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