I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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