Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
