Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
