I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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