Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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