I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im so drunk with asians
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say