Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.