Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
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I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT