im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.