There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Randomize
