What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
