Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
