dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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