I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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