why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My penis needs a shock collar
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
