The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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