i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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