I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
