I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
