dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
