So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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